


The Most Dreadful Apocalypse of All

by vanillafluffy



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Apocalypse, Gen, Must have coffee, Semantics, not a morning person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8318791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: Dana Scully is not a morning person, and Fox Mulder is entirely too chipper. Who wants to discuss the end of the world before coffee?!





	

"Hey, Scully--what's the plural of apocalypse?"

Dana Scully regards her partner with disfavor. It's early, and she is insufficiently caffeinated for a discussion of this magnitude. "As far as I know, it's apocalypses. Although since by definition, it's the end of the world, there would just be the one."

"Oh, I don't know." Mulder is exuding restless energy, and all his partner wants to do is get to the coffeemaker in the break room. ."You could have a zombie apocalypse, followed by earthquakes and volcanos erupting, and then aliens could invade--"

"The zombies would probably be a plague, the earthquakes and volcanoes are natural disasters, and the aliens might be friendly." She shakes her head. "I can't believe I just said that."

Mulder sighs. Clearly, she's being a buzzkill. Good. "Okay, but look at the seven plagues of Egypt in the Bible. I'm saying, if you had a whole bunch of disasters, one after another. Like there's a pride of lions, or a murder of crows...what would it be?"

"A dread of apocalypses," she says with conviction. The break room is in sight. "Because most people don't look forward to it as much as you do. Oh God, no!"

The coffeemaker bears an "Out of Order" sign that can be read from across the room. 

"Don't worry, I'll buy you Starbucks on the way to our new case. Six people in Williamsburg are crying tears of blood." He glances over to see if the prospect intrigues her, but she's still gazing in horror at the defunct coffeemaker. "Cheer up, Scully--it's not the end of the world.".

...


End file.
